Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am available for nakedness
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
