Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize