Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize