im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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