so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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