She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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