Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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