Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
