and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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