'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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