and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
