i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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