I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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