I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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