my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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