Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
