How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
