wakey wakey hands off snakey
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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