she was so not down for the gang bang
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
