he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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