My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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