The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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