I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
