Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
