My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
