guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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