Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
