So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
