WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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