I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
