piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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