My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
