I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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