This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You have to summon your inner elephant
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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