Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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