How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
