real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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