I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this will be a night to untag.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
