Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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