And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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