Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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