I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
