This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
