if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
