You made me cry and you don't even care
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize