So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
