is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
