Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
