What a fucking waste of an outfit
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
