His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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