Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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