and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Already got asked if we're dating
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
