I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
