i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
