moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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