I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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