Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
