i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
