I think my vagina is haunted
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
