I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize